The church I attended as a teenager had an awesome set of groups and programs for us. I had basically grown up in this church and had lots of friends. Some of us were part of an outdoors and "do-good" youth club. We'd do things in nature like river rafting in the summer, hiking, camping most all year except in very bad weather, and we also did stuff like raking leaves in elderly people's yards during fall.

I remember one summer in particular near the time that my family was getting ready to move to a different part of the country. This summer was the best because it was the summer that I found out that my three closest friends were gay. In fact, that was the summer that my friend Brian and I started being boyfriends.

We were camping in the State Park down state, about forty of us youth, plus adult leaders. We did the usual things but the important part started about two nights into our weeklong trip.

We were all sitting behind most of the others at a campfire one night, singing church songs after the leader had conducted evening worship. My friend Brian was on my left and my friends Chris, and Dante were on my right. We all were either already 16 or nearing it. We joked a lot about sex, what we'd heard other kids at church had been doing and what we saw on TV. But for whatever reason none of us had ever made a move on each other - or so I thought.

During one soft praise song, you know the ones, when everybody's singing like they might have smoked weed just seconds before… I was shocked to feel a hand on my leg. It wasn't like a normal touch either; the hand was caressing me on the inside of my thigh! I almost jumped, startled. I looked to my left and Brian was looking at me, grinning and whispering "ssshhh". I looked around and noone had seen us. I looked back at Brian and grinned at his audacity. I threw a boner but tried to hide it. Was Brian just frisking me like we all sometimes had done while horsing around - just not so close, personal and REAL? His touch was more than just a touch of horseplay.

Brian was masculine, girls tried to date him but he just kept a cool detached persona about him. I guess you would have said the same thing for the rest of us too, though Chris did date a girl named Trish some time before the particular summer I write of now.

Well, I didn't touch Brian back, as much as I wanted to - not right then anyway. We were tent mates and I didn't want to mistakenly jump into anything. I did get to bring up the incident without giving much away, just by asking Brian casually and with a laugh "Dude, what was up back there at the campfire?" Brian just laughed and played it cool so I did too.

The rest of the singing went without anything else happening. It was later that night that I knew for sure that I was dealing with a friend who was gay.

We were in our tent after lights out when Brian spoke up.

"Hey Eric, you cool?" he asked.
"Yea, man" I answered. "What's up?"

Brian had me get out of my sleeping bag saying, "Let me show you something."

I got out of my bag and sat there in the darkness of the tent as Brian too got out of his sleeping bag. I couldn't see his face just a vague outline of his body. Brian shuffled and said, "Sit here."

I moved to where I thought he wanted me to be and he got behind me. What the heck is he up to! I kept thinking to myself. He sat with his legs open and on either side of mine, which were cross-legged.

Remember back at the campfire? he whispered.
How could I forget?!

"Yes" I whispered in return.
"If you're really cool then let me do what I really wanted to do then. If you're not into it, just say 'No' and we'll forget this ever happened. If you're not into it you don't have to be a jerk, just say No." Brian continued.

My breath was caught in my chest but I managed a faint whimper as I felt Brian's hands feeling me everywhere and as Brian rested his head on the back of my shoulders. Brian was so 'in control' so confident and such a GUY… I couldn't believe that Brian and I were together, doing it, becoming one. But Brian showed that it was possible, that it made sense, and that it was right. I could only say YES during that blessed night. And we both are glad today that I did.